Retro humour

Gluten free, dairy free, fat free, I love this champagne diet

Dyslexics have more fnu

I love everything * about you *almost

Loyal and obedient She had found her perfect match

Hello... is it tea you`re looking for?

She had finally found THE ONE

"Who`s going to put the rubbish out now?" cried the dwarves

Life hadn`t been the same since the move to Wales

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese? Caerphilly

Today I got a Ferrari for my husband. Great swap, eh?

Mmmm... I sense an exciting fragrance. ...and I sense a load of bullshit.

Gold Digger? Moi?

`I don`t sing in the shower... I like to go for a drive, roll up the windows, and SCREAM!`

`My life is a circus without the tent`

`I know my way around the kitchen, down the hall, out the door, and to my favorite restaurants!`

Birthdays, she believed, were no time to exercise restraint. Inside the card reads - celebrate, and show no restraint! Happy birthday!

Well, first the engine will explode and then we`ll all crash in a huge ball of fire

Farewell to youth - Anne Tantor greeting card. Inside reads - …and hello to early-bird specials

How to make pastry attractive circa 1958

idiot

Old book jacket card - Leadership secrets of Attila the Hun by Wess Roberts PhD 1990

She had every intention of making the same mistake twice - Anne Taintor greeting card

Save the earth. It`s our only source of chocolate

We have a strange and wonderful relationship... You`re strange and I`m wonderful!

What I`m waiting for is a blessing that`s not in disguise!

When Woman Reigns by August Anson 1938

Now, where did I put my husband?

Book jacket card `Jokes cracked by Lord Aberdeen` by John Hamilton Gordon 1929

The New Radiation Recipe Book 1933 greeting card

`The centre of attraction` c 1910 - book jacket card

Cinderella couldn`t help but worry about her carbon footprint

Do you have anything less gender-specific? greeting card

No. Mine was the herb-crusted cod with a rocket and parmesan salad.

Born stupid

David wasn`t gay. He just helped out when they were busy.

Never let a drag-queen do your make-up

All things are possible through prayer and medication - My Philosophy 24:7

Mavis Had Always Been A Desperate Housewife

You know you're getting older when your body makes more noise than your car does!

A fool and his money make a great date!

Gardening, yoga,bubble baths, medication... and still i want to smack somebody!

At our age "getting lucky" means finding the car in the parking lot!

I was going to make a delicious dinner, then I remembered I don't cook

I have no idea what I want but I'm pretty sure I won't be happy until I get it!

I used to care but now i take a pill for that!

Money isn't everything... but it keeps the kids in touch!

"Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from"

I just don't have time for the nervous breakdown that I deserve!

"She sells more than seashells down by the sea shore"

Sorry girls... he`s already been tranquilized and tagged! Sorry girls... he`s already been tranquilized and tagged!

Chinese Woman And Girl 1920